Liberal anthem The Land rewritten in light of Conference accreditation #ldconf

We all know the agonies the party has gone through on Conference accreditation. And they are real agonies. Next week when we gather in Brighton, our family will not be complete, because some people aren't going because they object to the Police checks. For others it's more than an objection in principle. They fear errors being made in the process which might accidentally reveal a former identity, which could be a different gender, for example, to people who have no business knowing it.

While there is an opt-out process, those using it have to effectively out themselves which rather defeats the object.

In my own circle of friends, I'd say that I know at least 20 people who are not going. There's a few from Scotland who would otherwise go, but are staying away because they object to the very principle of accreditation. I'm going because I don't want our policy to be made exclusively by people who are ok with this sort of thing. The week will be tinged with sadness, though, because I won't see people like Jennie. I am really gutted about that.

One thing liberals are very good at is laughing their way through pain. Let's face it, we've had enough of it over the many years of our existence. We'd never survive without a sense of humour.

Sarah Brown, who's been a fabulous advocate of the case against accreditation, has re-written one of the most important liberal anthems. The Land is sung, several times, raucously and increasingly drunkenly at that end of Conference singathon the Glee Club. Sarah's version appears in full on her own blog but her first verse is reproduced below.

Sound the blues and twos, eh boys and sound them far and wide!Liberals want to congregate, but don’t let them inside!We know they passed a motion; it’s pathetic that they tried.Conference is not for these people.

The Glee Club takes place in the Oxford Suite of the Hilton Metropole, which is outside the security cordon, on Tuesday evening from 10pm.

I think as an acknowledgement to the fact that our family is not complete next week, we should sing Sarah's version on Tuesday night.

So much to look forward to this week

What I really need at the moment is something that's going to dissolve all the cotton wool in my head and help me concentrate. I have a stinking cold which has laid me low for the last few days, and I have loads to do this week - and at the moment, no energy and motivation to do it.

I didn't sleep very well last night so am walking round like a zombie today. I have sent Anna to school despite the very obvious signs that she's coming down with it too. I stuffed her bag full of tissues and cough sweets because she has an after school Eco Club that she's been looking forward to for weeks starting this evening.

However, in the spirit of Fraulein Maria, when the cold strikes, or the bee stings, or whatever, I resolve to concentrate only on good things to cheer myself up.

Firstly, look what Anna and I found in the garden this morning:

This little purple crocus bud is a sign that this hellish Winter is hopefully coming to an end. It's probably a cue for the next load of snow to arrive, but it's an unmistakable declaration of intent from Spring. My favourite season of the year, with cute lambs, leaves and flowers is almost here.

Also this week, I should be getting Sarah Brown's memoir, Behind the Black Door, which is published on Thursday. Whilst I baulk at the idea of giving the likes of Blair and Mandelson any money, I am happy to invest in this one. I am a complete sucker for real life stories of what it's like to live in the White House or Number 10, which is why my bookshelves are full of books by US Presidents and first ladies or children. I couldn't bring myself to buy Cherie Blair's book, but I like Sarah Brown.  She's personable, approachable and real and I'm really looking forward to reading her account of her eventful years in Downing Street.

Not that I'll have much time to read it over the weekend as I'm off to Perth for Scottish Lib Dem Conference. This is the first time in 3 years I've been well enough to even contemplate going and I really can't wait. Unfortunately it's only a 2 day event this year, on Friday and Saturday, to encourage people to get back to their campaigns, motivated and invigorated (or tucked up under the duvet, sleep deprived and hungover, more like) on Sunday. There's loads to do, and, of course, all the things I want to go to are on at the same time. My big dilemma is whether to go to the Conference dinner, featuring Alistair Carmichael, or to the Liberal Youth Scotland quiz on Friday night. I love Alistair and he will be so funny that most of the diners will be spontaneously bursting out laughing for days afterwards, but there is a fairly relevant £35 price difference between the two events. The LYS event is apparently legendary, though - a quiz which morphs into a debate about all sorts of stupid things

I am also going to have to get the measuring tape out to see if my Handbag of Awesome, my wonderful, totally perfect for me handbag given to me by one of my best friends for my birthday last year, is small enough to go through the security scanners, a by-product of us being in Government.  It is pretty massive, easily big enough to transport all the crap I routinely insist on carrying about with me. It has to be less than 640mm x 430mm. If it isn't, I shall just cry because I don't know what I'll do without it.

Anyway, I now have a hot date with a very large pile of Residents' Surveys so I shall love you and leave you for the moment.