Brilliant, bonkers and Bond it like Beckham - Boyle's triumphant Olympic opening ceremony

Boy, am I tired this morning! I'm not suited to sitting up till 1am and then getting up at 7:30 for a meeting. I'm an old lady (about to be older) and I need my sleep. The fact that this was written yesterday shows just how tired I was - after a busy day, I collapsed on the sofa and went to bed early last night. Anyway, here's my account of Friday's Olympic opening ceremony.

I usually avoid these things because they bore me. A lights show and lots of people walking round. And boring speeches.However, with the Games here, I thought it was my duty to have a look at it. Maybe I was intrigued to see what Danny Boyle would do with the £27 million budget. Given that Trainspotting disturbed me more than any other film I've ever watched, I was slightly anxious, I have to confess.

I was not disappointed. It was slightly unsettling to see the Stadium filling with livestock to complement the green and pleasant land scene which started the show. What's that they say about working with children and animals? There were maypoles and morris dancing and Jerusalem, Danny Boy, Cwm Rhondda and Flower of Scotland to reflect the entire UK. As the ceremony started, there was a fast fly through along the Thames from its source to the Olympic Stadium which had more than a nod to Trainspotting for me. This came after a spectacular fly past by the Red Arrows who'd had a long  day covering the UK.

The first mystery of the night was who would ring the huge Olympic Bell to get the ceremony under way. I was dreading Cameron or Boris. My first bout of blubbing came when Bradley Wiggins, winner of the Tour De France, stepped forward, in yellow, to do it.

The country idyll in the Stadium was soon transformed into an industrial landscape complete with dark, Satanic mills and Kenneth Branagh as Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Each stage had the participation of hundreds of extras in costume. There was a nod to the Suffragettes, too, and to the benefits immigration has brought this country.  The workers on the ground forged Olympic rings which lifted into the sky in good time to provide a sensational image for today's front pages.

For me, the moment of the night was the scene filmed at Buckingham Palace. Having visited it last year, you knew that they were definitely filming in there. They'd even managed to find a couple of corgis.  It never dawned on me that they were the actual Queen's dogs, and even after the grey haired lady said "Good Evening, Mr Bond" my brain just wouldn't compute that it was the actual Queen and not Miranda Hart dressed up or something.

So, we saw the Queen head into a helicopter with James Bond from the Palace, we saw the progress of the helicopter and wondered where it would land. Well, the occupants parachuted out and a few moments later, the Queen was introduced walking to her seat. Pure, dead brilliant!

What happened next prompted Tory MP for Cannock Chase Adrian Burley to tweet that the ceremony had been full of "leftie multi-cultural crap". Hopefuly his constituents in Cannock Chase will give him the boot for that in 2015. There was a huge celebration of the NHS and children's literature as children in hospital beds were read to in a celebration of British authors - and one of the people reading to the kids was J K Rowling herself. There was a massive Voldemort, loads of Mary Poppinses arriving on umbrellas

That gave way to a celebration of British film and music with all sorts of iconic sights and sounds. There was even a whoosh of the TARDIS which was the only homage to Doctor Who. A fair part of the fandom wanted David Tennant's Doctor to light the flame like he did in the 2006 episode Fear Her.

There was a poignant moment as the victims of 7/7 were remembered accompanied by Emili Sande singing "Abide with Me". This wasn't shown in the US, sadly, where an interview with Michael Phelps was deemed more important, much to the choreographer's annoyance. It made me think how many British people and organisations had put time and effort into making sure those who died on 9/11 weren't forgotten. NBC, the official US broadcaster, should take note.

You would have thought that the arrangement of Chariots of Fire conducted by Simon Rattle would leave not a dry eye in the house. And you'd be right. Actually, though, they were mostly of laughter as Rowan Atkinson's Mr Bean, placed on a keyboard in the middle of the London Symphony Orchestra played his part with his usual comic brilliance. There can't be anyone on the planet who does facial expressions better.

The parade of the athletes entering the stadium gave us the opportunity to laugh at the unchic sheen of the French team's trousers, of the 1970s cabin crew uniform of the US team and the hilariously camp and gender stereotyped jackets of the German team who looked like they could be headed for the West End stage rather than the sports field. My husband left school in the late 60s and clearly hasn't done much in the way of atlas studying since. "That's not a country, is it?" was a constant refrain. The flags were arranged in the one remnant of the rural scene from the beginning which remained, a reproduction of Glastonbury Tor.

We'd been promised a spectacular entrance for the Olympic flame which had been resting for several hours on a barge near Tower Bridge. It was next seen as darkness fell speeding up the Thames in a power boat accompanied by a very suave looking David Beckham and one of our female football stars of the future. It made me think of James Bond again.

After the Bond it Like Beckham moment, the flame was met, as everyone had speculated, by multiple gold medal winner Sir Steve Redgrave. So, he was bound to be lighting the flame wasn't he?

But before we could find out, we had speeches to listen to. I guess we should be grateful there was no raffle, but people had paid out so much for their tickets, they probably wouldn't have been able to afford it. Anyway, Sebastian Coe and Olympic President Jacques Rogge didn't really speak for that long, but it was still way beyond most people's tolerance levels. It was left to our wonderful 86 year old Queen show how she was a master of the art of brevity - she simply declared the Games open. That was it.

Another moment of blubbery for me came when the Olympic flag was paraded around. Two of the people carrying it were Shami Chakrabarti, one of the strongest voices for liberal values in this country if not the world and Doreen Lawrence, whose refusal to accept the shortcomings of the establishment led her to fight for years to ensure that her son's killers were brought to justice.

So, Sir Steve ran in with the flame, looking for all the world that he was going to light the as yet unseen cauldron. And he would have succeeded if it hadn't been for a bunch of kids! Seven young athletes, nominated by greats of the past, put the Games' theme, "inspire a generation" into reality. It was them, not a famous name, who set the cauldron, constructed from the copper petals each nation brought in with them, alight. It was beautiful.

The ceremony closed with Sir Paul McCartney singing Hey Jude and lots of fireworks. One of my favourite people with one of my least favourite things. It was pretty spectacular, though.

It all made Mitt Romney's churlish and rude comments seem even more inappropriate. I liked the homage to Tim Berners-Lee, too,a reminder that it was a Brit who invented the internet, not Al Gore.

I'm so looking forward to two weeks of watching all sorts of weird and wonderful sports. Nadia Comaneci made me fall in love with gymnastics in 1976, and I love swimming although I rarely watch it at any other time. Then there's the archery and rowing and dressage and diving and cycling. Bring it all on! Let's hope it all goes fabulously well. Yes, I hate the corporate dominance too, but the Games are here. Once they are over, we have precisely nothing to look forward to. Let's enjoy every second while we can.

I've made a Storify thingy of my tweets on the night to capture my heat of the moment thoughts and interactions with others.

It was an night where I, along with half the country, alternated between laughing, crying and wide eyed wonderment. No wonder Stephen Tall has chosen Danny Boyle as his liberal hero of the week over at the Centre Forum blog.

Holyrood honours the Queen

I've just been reading through the Parliamentary Debate which honoured the Queen's Diamond Jubilee yesterday. Each Party leader, including Patrick Harvie, made a short speech and I felt that they captured what the Queen means to Scotland and its people. Even though they weren't all united - Patrick wanted to discuss the possibility of an independent Scotland not having the Queen as Head of State. I'd have quite liked to have seen that pressed to a full debate, just to see whether the SNP would have held together. You get the impression that some of them aren't so keen on the "don't scare the horses" strategy taken by their leaders.

For the record, I would quite happily see us do away with the Monarchy. I'm not into inherited position. However, I realise that I'm in a significant minority. I have two options. I can sit and strop because I'm not getting my way, or I can appreciate the hard work that the Queen and members of her family do. The second option isn't really that hard to choose.

Having said all that, Alex Salmond gave a really good and warm speech. I loved the references to the previous Diamond Jubilee, of Victoria, in Scotland - and how there was a plot afoot to embellish Union Terrace Gardens in Aberdeen but it was his genuine appreciation of the Queen's relationship with Scotland that made me pleased.

Of course, many things do change. Over the six decades of the Queen’s reign, Scotland has altered dramatically and for the better. Constants have been the Queen’s dedication, impartiality and service. On her coronation day, the Queen said to her people:

“I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughout all my life and with all my heart I shall strive to be worthy of your trust.”

Perhaps the highest praise that can be given to the Queen is that, throughout her reign, she has lived up to that pledge. 

Today, the Scottish Parliament has the opportunity to place on record our respect, admiration and gratitude for that service. In doing so, we recognise that, although the Queen is the head of state of 16 different nations and the head of the Commonwealth of 54 nations, she has always been a particular friend of Scotland. Indeed, she is more than a friend—she is family. She performed her first official opening duty here in October 1944, when she opened the Aberdeen sailors’ home. On one of her first engagements following her coronation, more than 60,000 Scots packed into Hampden park to welcome her on a visit to Glasgow. We look forward with particular pleasure to welcoming her back to Glasgow and Hampden park in 2014 for the opening of the Commonwealth games.

Willie Rennie gave a really sympathetic insight into what the Queen's life has been like, even talking about the risks she's faced, her own daughter being kidnapped in the Mall and finding Michael Fagan in her bedroom that morning. He talked about her bringing "real joy" to people's faces.

 I thank the First Minister for the gifts that he has chosen, which I think will gain widespread approval across Scotland. They are appropriate for the occasion, and I thank the First Minister for choosing well.

The Queen did not choose this life. Neither she, nor her father before her, expected to fulfil the role of monarch. It is against that backdrop that we judge and admire Her Majesty’s commitment to public service. I enjoy going to events such as the Fife show or to places such as Carnegie College. I enjoy meeting people on such occasions, but I think that I would find it hard if I faced doing that almost every day for the next 42 years, as I would have to do to match the Queen’s diary. If I particularly enjoyed a visit, I would not be able to extend it to find out a bit more about what went on behind the scenes, as I can do as a private citizen. If I did not like something, I would not be able just to nip off early and go to something else or go for a cup of tea. I would have to stay, do my duty and do the right thing, as the Queen has done for the length of her service. She has committed so much in personal duty and service.

My point is that although, from the outside, her life might look fantastic with all the palaces and the jewels, she took the role on at the age of 26 and could have given it up when she was 60, 70 or 80 but did not. She has chosen to carry on and to continue her service, despite the evident downsides. In 1974, her daughter was almost kidnapped. The security threats are real; she has faced intruders in her home.

Even today, after 60 years, the Queen brings more to public life than people ever expect. When we leave the Parliament late in the evening, we see people from all backgrounds leaving the Palace of Holyroodhouse after enjoying a reception in the palace or its gardens. It is clear that her hospitality goes way beyond what people expect. Across the country, when the Queen goes on visits, she brings joy to people’s faces and manages to create excitement and a real sense of celebrity. We should never ignore and should always admire that.

We should also remember how well judged her attendances at the Scottish Parliament always are. She displays poise and her speeches are always of the best class. The Queen always delivers much more than people expect. Therefore, after 60 years, on her diamond jubilee, it is right that Parliament takes time to mark and appreciate the service of Her Majesty.

I wasn't particularly struck by either Ruth Davidson's or Johann Lamont's speeches on this occasion. They didn't say anything  bad - more that they didn't say much at all. There just didn't seem to be any heart in them. 

I liked the presents that have been given - frugal by royal command - a redesigned garden at Holyrood Palace, a donation to a veterans' charity and an app celebrating the Queen and Scotland. I'm assuming it's the one called Queen of Scots which is free. Having looked at it, I could have done more with it given half a chance. It's a bit thin on detail - and there's nothing about Balmoral, or Crathie or the Braemar Gathering, for example. 

This weekend I'll certainly be raising a glass to toast a remarkable woman who has been at the forefront of the nation for all my life and beyond.  The first time I ever saw her was when she came up to take Prince Edward to Gordonstoun. I must have been 4 or 5. I remember being in a crowd queueing near the station in Inverness to see her. When I spent my Summers in Braemar working at the Youth Hostel, it was an everyday occurrence to see various royals driving or walking around the place. She has been prepared to change with the times and listen. I wish she'd do the one thing she's never done, though. I think an interview about her life would be absolutely fascinating. I hope that at some point we will hear what she has to say on the main events of her reign. 

The Queen: Respect from a republican

As I watch the Queen arrive at the Palace of Westminster for the pompfest that marks the State Opening of Parliament, I just wanted to put on record my feelings about our 80 year old Head of State who has sacrificed much in her own life to carry out the duty that was thrust upon her.

I'm as republican as they come. I think that our Head of State should be elected and that a system whereby such an important role is filled by the next in line in a family whether they like it or not is outdated and should change. I'd like to think that in my daughter's lifetime, the institution of the monarchy would be abandoned as an anachronism and that we'd move on to having a more modern and accountable constitution.

Having said that, I was as appalled as Andrew to see that a Labour candidate had dismissed her as a "parasite" and "vermin". On a personal level, I have nothing but respect for the Queen.

When she was the same age as my daughter is now, her uncle, King Edward VIII abdicated and she was propelled into the spotlight as Heir Presumptive when her father became King. Until then, she could have expected to have a relatively carefree childhood, be sent off to boarding school and then be married off to some member of the aristocracy and live out her family life in some country pile. Instead, her education had to be geared towards the duties she'd be expected to fulfil as Queen. That must have been quite a burden for such a young girl to carry.

During the war, she joined the Auxiliary Territorial Service, and got stuck in doing such jobs as driving vans and ambulances round London. She could have taken herself off to some quieter and safer billet in the country, but she chose to stay in London and get involved.

Even then, her father was still in his 30s and she could have expected to have quite a while before she would actually have to take that role. As it happened, after the stresses of the war took their toll on her father's fragile health, she succeeded to the throne when she was 25 years old with 2 toddlers to bring up.

Because of what the family saw as her uncle's abandonment of the role, the need for her to do her duty was drilled into her and she has never let anything interfere with what she felt was her calling. When duty demanded that she disappear off to the far flung parts of the Commonwealth, leaving her children at home for months on end, she made that sacrifice. On a personal level, it must have been awful for her. Even today, with the internet and instant communications, it would be hard for any parent to do but it was much more difficult then.

There's absolutely no way I would have made that sort of sacrifice of my family life and I don't think that the Queen should have been put in the position where she had to. I guess we have to look at the realities of her life and not the life we think we should have had. A young woman alone amongst a plethora of much older, male advisers from both the Palace and Government, would have been put firmly in her place if she had even suggested doing things differently. It wasn't for another 30 years that Princess Diana was able to put her foot down and dispense with some of the more ridiculous aspects of stifling royal protocol.

She's seen huge social, industrial and technological change in her lifetime. When she became Queen, few ordinary people had things we take for granted today - inside toilets, cars, televisions and things like video recorders and microwaves hadn't been invented. While she hasn't always reacted as quickly as we would have liked to change things, she has been prepared to listen on issues like the Royal Family paying tax and in that emotionally charged week after Diana died.

As she approaches her mid 80s, she is still carrying out hundreds of royal visits and duties every year. Last year she and her 88 year old husband carried out 771 between them. She also spends significant amounts of time working on Red Boxes from the Government doing such things as giving her assent to Liberal Democrat MP Willie Rennie's Driving Instruction (Suspension and Exemption Powers) ACT 2009 last week.

The Queen deserves respect and admiration for the stable and committed way she's fulfilled her role. In 2012, I'll be there paying tribute to her when she celebrates her Diamond Jubilee.