Strictly Come Election

Put away the anti-depressants, dust off the dancing shoes, get out the fake tan - Strictly Come Dancing is back. This year's line up is very strong. My great worry is that there isn't a girl I want to see leave. I love Kate Garraway. She's actually the niece of one of the stalwarts of West Lothian Lib Dems. They even got their photo in Ok magazine when Kate got married. However, even without the excruciating pain of Tendonitis, she probably isn't a great dancer. I don't think it matters because she's paired with the very funny Anton Du Beke. I suspect they will be good for entertainment value and I hope they stay around for a long time.

I'm looking forward to seeing Matthew Cutler and Alesha Dixon and Penny Lancaster-Stewart and Ian Waite hit the floor.

In terms of the men, Erin Boag unfortunately is most likely to take an early bath. Willie Thorne looks uncomfortable standing upright, let alone dancing. I hope Brian Capron stays in for a while though. I had a huge crush on him when he played Mr Hopwood in Grange Hill about a million years ago. He doesn't have the same effect on me now but I suspect Karen Hardy and he will have a very entertaining relationship.

I've been involved in politics for so long that I do tend to see conspiracy theories in everything and I'm not so sure I like the idea that the Judges have the ultimate choice in who leaves each week. They usually have a favourite, and this enables them to keep them in even if the public doesn't warm to them.

I suspect that the one thing which will get me through this election campaign is the prospect of sitting down for half an hour every night and watching It Takes Two. Claudia Winkleman is definitely a bit bonkers, but absolutely hilarious and very good at getting the best out of her guests.

I succumbed earlier this year to the infernal wickedness of Sky Plus. It is a true delight to know that hours of fun and frolics are going to fill up the hard disk at the touch of one button.

I've just had a thought - who would we pair off for a Strictly Election Special. I think Ming Campbell would cut a fairly dashing figure with Erin Boag, dancing a Foxtrot in tails. I suspect Karen Hardy would be the one dancer who could get anything remotely resembling dance and human interaction out of Gordon Brown. The woman who made Bill Turnbull do his cucarachas would work her magic on the Dour One. Alex Salmond - well, I reckon Lilia Kopylova and he would be a wicked and quite amusing partnership. Their salsa would be embarrassing and cringeworthy but I suspect the training would be fun to watch. And for David Cameron? I find him so false and slick and deeply unpleasant, but I suspect Camilla Dallerup could get him under control. I'm not sure I wouldn't burst out laughing at his Tango face, though.

One pair I would seriously love to see would be Darren Bennett and Jo Swinson. Jo can move very well and I suspect they would do incredibly well.

Who would I put with my favourite dancer, Anton? I reckon Amy Rodger, Lib Dem PPC for East Lothian. She has such a wonderful sense of humour and I reckon she would completely have him under control. I would actually love to see her get elected - she is a remarkable young woman and would certainly stir things up in the House of Commons.