Review: Peter Pan, Edinburgh. Or, Allan Stewart makes my life

It's been our tradition in recent years to go to the Pantomime at the King's Theatre in Edinburgh, which always stars comedians Allan Stewart and Andy Gray and Grant Stott from Radio Forth. Usually I book the tickets at the last moment and get a seat up in the gods. However, last year I was a bit more organised and got what I thought were good seats in the stalls. If I'd read the seating map properly, I'd have realised that they were THE front seats at the end of the row.

We loved being there, so close to the action,  last year, so as soon as I had the chance, I booked the same seats for this year's show.

Well, the first thing that happened was that we were sprayed with water from pantomime dame Stewart's bosom. We thought we were fine after that.

The show itself was probably not the strongest or most topical script I've heard from that team, but it was good. Grant Stott's effectiveness as a fiendishly villanous Captain Hook was offset by the fact that he kept getting the giggles. I'm also not sure whether Allan Stewart fluffed up his exit at one point, or whether that was part of the script. The song Blurred Lines has not made my feminist heart beat faster this year, but its panto equivalent, Slurred Lines, made me laugh.

My favourite character was Shona White, an accomplished performer from the musicals who played a very feisty take-no-prisoners Tinker Bell. The Peter Pan/Wendy love-interest thing was only slight but creepy nonetheless given that the first scene had had Wendy being tucked up in bed with a story.

The on-stage chemistry between the principals is so strong after so many years of working together, but still it's fresh every year. And there is just no getting away from Allan being the best panto dame in the business. We normally go on the very last day but couldn't get tickets for those seats. The cast is demob happy and just having a laugh, by then, so we did feel we missed out a little bit on that. Until just before the end.

I probably should say at this point that my lovely husband Bob doesn't really take kindly to either surprises or being put on the spot. I've learned this the hard way over the past 27 years of living with him. So, when Allan Stewart came off the stage and stuck a microphone in his face and asked him to sing a little ditty in the style of Elvis Presley, I did fear a little bit for my Bob. He was brilliant, though. I was so proud of him. Knowing there was no escape, he just got on with it. Maybe Allan has shown me how to get my way more often... Anyway, singing is not his strong point, and these words will probably haunt him for some time to come:

 Nickety Nackety Nickety NooNickety Nackety NayRum, tum, tickle your bumEveryone sing Hooray

Given that his musical taste is if it's not playing in the hippest clubs in Ibiza he doesn't listen to it, you can imagine how exruciating that bit of trash must have been for him.  And, bless him, singing isn't exactly his strong suit.

He did so well and, if you asked him if he enjoyed it, in his heart of hearts, he would, I think, say that he did. People were coming up to him on the way out and telling him he did great.

I had a minor moment in the spotlight as well. I should have said that Andy Gray was filming all this from the stage and it appeared on the big screen. Allan asked me where we were from and I said Livingston. He said that the town was famous for beautiful women and rugby players and then asked what position I played.

Afterwards, Anna and I were talking about when exactly we should let Bob forget about today. We agreed never. And given the absolute look of joy on her face while all this was going on, I think that's a wise choice.

Allan Stewart, you made my life. Ta for that.

The next exciting thing in my life comes tomorrow when I'm covering Alistair Carmichael's keynote speech. Al, you have a bit to live up to, here. No pressure, though. You'll be fab, too.

Review: Jack and the Beanstalk, Clyde Auditorium, Glasgow

You may have noticed that we have a bit of a Doctor Who obsession in this house, or at least Anna and I share one.

John Barrowman, who plays Captain Jack in the series, was up for his 3rd consecutive stint in pantomime at the SECC. We'd missed the last two years, but, spurred on by seeing his Torchwood colleagues at Midnight, we decided to give it a go.

The irony of Captain Jack starring in Jack and the Beanstalk made it all ummissable.  It must have taken some courage for the Krankies to take part in it after "Jimmy's" accident 8 years ago, when she fractured her skull falling off a beanstalk in an earlier production and I have a lot of respect for her that she was willing to climb it again - although this time visibly very well harnessed. 

If the Krankies' humour had matched their bravery, then it would have been a flawless show. Sadly, they seemed to have forgotten that it's not 1977 any more. In fact, one of their ad libs was so bad that it wouldn't even have been funny 35 years ago. I thought we'd moved past taking the mickey out of other people's accents. Anyway, that line clearly didn't raise any laughs and Barrowman, who seemed very much like the Responsible Adult on stage, attempted a rescue. What he said was "You thought you were going to make the papers for the bed sharing......"

When people have hit the headlines for salacious reasons, there is definitely an argument that a bit of humorous self deprecation can defuse any tension in their next public appearance. So, one joke about the Krankies' swinging past I could cope with. That pudding was well over-egged, though, with jokes that went over the kids' heads and made the adults cringe. I may well be being unfair to the pair, though, because Bob thought they were funny all the way through with the exception of that ad lib.

It's easy to see how Barrowman has become one of the great light entertainers in the country. He owned that stage. You hear tales of his hilarious on-set antics which are undoubtedly true, but he gets the job done. He was very clearly in charge of what was happening on stage. He was down as a co-director, but even so, I think he'd have done that anyway. He has an incredible stage presence. I have to say that, even at 24 rows distance, he looked mighty good. The tights and boots helped, of course. We wondered on the way over whether he would speak in his Scottish or American accent. Actually, it was both, and he switched between the two at random. Rumour had it, too, that he'd arrived late at the theatre, something you would never have guessed. 

The plot seemed almost incidental to much of the first half, which seemed to be about quality banter and mucking about on stage. Heavens above, there was even a real live horse on stage at one point - and very well behaved it was, too. It didn't matter, though. The 3D effects in the second half were really good - and actually, I kept my eyes on the cast on the stage. They obviously had to run and lurch and jump when the graphics demanded it and they did so very well. I am sure it is much more difficult to keep that up than it looks. 

I also need to say lots of good things about Divine Creswell, who had been drafted in to play the fairy at the last minute due to cast illness. She was really good - a couple of minor wobbles, but you wouldn't have realised if you hadn't been told that she had been thrust into it. 

Pete Gallacher played he baddie, Fleshcreep and was everything you want a panto baddie to be. Just menacing enough to work the audience up into a booing frenzy, but not horrid enough to scare the kids. 

We had a great time and and came out smiling. Barrowman certainly carried the show and if it lost the Krankies next year, I wouldn't weep. It is well worth seeing and there are still a few days left - it's on till 6th January, so if you fancy a good laugh, you can book tickets here.