Lembit Opik for Eurovision 2013 #lembitforeurovision

I am on long train jourrney and have been without human company for some time. This probably explans why I have been excited beyond description by the idea that as well as saving the earth from destruction by asteroid, it's time for Lembit Opik and his harmonica to restore the UK's credibility in Europe by taking part in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2013. This shouldn't suggest that I'm doubting this year's contender Englebert Humperdinck's abilities, because we have to give him a chance, after all, but I recognise that the job may take longer than one year to complete.

Lembit would be an excellent choice. It would keep him busy, raise his profile and possibly launch a Europe based career.

I should be clear that this is not my idea. I'm protecting the guilty to an extent, although it might be fun to give you a hint as to their identity.Tthey are from the younger part of the Scottish party. It is, however, entirely my idea that Annie Lennox should write the song. That should give you a further clue in identifying them as they currently live in the place of Ms Lennox's birth.

If you think this is a good idea, please muster up as much support as you can through whatever social neetworking media you choose. If, #lembitforeurovision trended on Twitter, the momentum would be unstoppable.

I have never managed to sort out doing links on the iPad, but if any of you kind sould would post the link of Lembit handling himself really well in a recent music video in the comments, I'd be ever so grateful.

So, it's over to you, dear readers. You have the power to make this happen. You can make Lembi the new Cliff Richard. Get to it.

James Kelly of Scot Goes Pop is a hero

If you have read the three preceding posts, it's all down to a very helpful comment from James Kelly who writes the Scot Goes Pop blog. Like me, he lost blog posts when Blogger had its hissy fit the other day and told me he was able to retrieve them through Google Reader. Unfortunately, I couldn't do that, but discovered that they had fed into the Facebook Notes application so I was able to copy and paste them back.

James is a complete and utter Eurovision obsessive. I've kept this year's contest at arm's length a bit because I knew that I was going to be away for it, but I've enjoyed his posts on it. Have a look in the boring bits tonight.

Something Eurovisiony to brighten your day: Josh and Niamh Kavanagh singing "Fairytale"

Just to brighten a very dreich, dark and dismal Monday lunchtime for you!

It was snowing when I came back from Zumba this morning. This did not please me one little bit, particularly as it was lying a little and I need to go into Edinburgh tomorrow. It had better have gone by the morning.

Anyway, first thing I saw when I checked my e-mail was that I was being followed on Twitter by @eurovisionicons who are making little avatars of this year's crop of contestants as they are announced and publishing them on their Facebook page.  They will actually be in Dusseldorf so they are probably worth a follow if you like that sort of thing.

Anyway, that e-mail reminded me that it will soon be Spring, and it won't be that long until the fantastic camp and cheesy phenomenon that is Eurovision will be here again.  The video above is last year's UK entry Josh Dubovie with last year's Irish entry Niamh Kavanagh singing Fairytale, that wonderfully catchy Norwegian winner from 2009.  Actually, it would make an excellent Zumba routine.........

Eurovision: my early years - that sounds good to me

I just love the Eurovision Song Contest. Always have. Always will. You can get your whole year's supply of tackiness and camp in just a few hours and I don't understand how it's possible to watch it and not smile. Everthing about it is over the top, from the costumes, to the ever more crazy performances - last year there were giant flaming hamster wheels for goodness' sake, to the key changes, to the annual surprise when Norway votes for Sweden and Cyprus votes for Greece. The blatant Eastern European bloc vote got a bit above itself for a while to the extent that it scunnered long term commentator Terry Wogan, but the new voting system seems to have quelled it slightly. Given that it's in Norway tomorrow, it must have done.

The first year I actually remember watching it was in 1976 when, happily, the UK won with Brotherhood of Man who apparently are still together. If you were in Ibiza this week, you could have caught them performing in hotels there for Thomson. I absolutely loved the song, Save your Kisses for Me and watching it again just seems to sum up the 70s for me - medallions, shirts open to the navel, dodgy moustaches. Not really a good look but that's how it was when I was 8.



The next year the contest was held in London and Lynsey de Paul and Mike Moran did Rock Bottom - I loved that one too. It seemed the height of sophistication at the time, but looking back at it now, it's really funny, satirising the economic mess at the time. I love how the conductor even wearing a bowler hat, dressed up like a city banker.

My personal 70s favourite was our 1978 entry, The Bad Old Days by Coco. Bad was the word, because they gave Britain its worst result to date, coming 11th out of 20. The costumes were garish rather than camp and I think that the only reason I have fond memories of it is that it compared well against "We're on the March with Ally's Army", the soundtrack to Scotland's spectacularly failed attempt to win the World Cup. Cheryl Baker, one of the line up for Coco re-appeared in much more slick style in 1981 to win with Bucks Fizz.

In 1979, we were represented by Black Lace whose song, Mary Ann, was nowhere near as "good" as their later hits like Agadoo.

It's hard to say whether 79's effort was better or worse than tthe uber sickly "Love Enough for Two" by Prima Donna. I have a scary feeling I was word perfect on this at the time. Looking at it now, the costumes look as if they belong on toddlers, not grown adult, the choreography is dire and the song, well,it's kind of like eating a pink cupcake with extra frosting and sugar on the top.

Someone clearly took our selection process by the scruff of the neck in 1981. Bucks Fizz had Eurovision veteran Cheryl Baker, who had been in the dreadful Coco 3 years earlier. Their song, Making your Mind up was faster paced,had a double entendre in practically every sentence and had the campest choreography ever. It was brilliant!

I probably should feel ashamed of how much I loved our 1982 entry, One Step Further, by Bardo, but, in my defence, it got to number 2 in the charts so I can't have been alone. I just wanted to be Sally Ann Triplett in her polka dotted blue mini-dress. I might even have fancied the guy in the braces.

I think the trip down Memory Lane should probably end now. I don't know if my husband can stand any more tacky songs resounding round our house. I did just ask him whether I confessed to my love of Eurovision before he married me and he confirmed that I had so he can't complain he wasn't warned.

Tomorrow night we all need to get behind (and I know that some would do that with particular enthusiasm) Josh Dubovie singing a song that you can tell a mile off was written by Pete Waterman. It's Jason Donovan all over again - and I love it.



It's going to be a weird night tomorrow night with no Sweden and no Netherlands - how on earth did that happen? The favourite is from Azerbaijan, called Drip Drop but I wonder if it's actually, with its Beyonce choreography, and all, just a bit too sophisticated for Eurovision. It's very good, though and I won't complain if Safura wins.

Why we're going to get stuffed at Eurovision, and why it doesn't matter

Well, if you're going to get Pete Waterman to write a song, of course it's going to be a poppy seeded cheesefest. Our Eurovision entry, chosen last night, is exactly that. It takes you right back to the days of Rick Astley, Jason Donovan when he had the floppy hair and, basically, in my case, my youth. Those songs are the soundtrack to my late teens and early twenties, the time when I met and married Bob. I know, I could have chosen the path of decent music, but you really should go with what makes you feel good, and if that happens to be trash, well, c'est la vie!

However banal and cheesy those kinds of songs are, you actually can't listen to them and not smile. It just isn't possible. And if you really can't stand it, turn the ound down and look at the singer, the yong and not at all unpleasant looking Josh Dubovie. He was the only one of the 3 finalists who could actually sing the song in tune so it was probably good that the public voted for him.

There isn't a hope in hell of us winning with this song - it's too weak, and unless we pad out the peformance with some serious gimmicks, I doubt it will stand up against some of the other finalists. I expect it'll end up midfield - we'll pull in some points for the smile factor, but that's about it.

This is the guy we've all got to get behind before the final in Oslo in May:



I should probably apologise to Jennie, because this is the type of thing that might make her ill again just as she's starting to get better.

Eurovision Hangover

I am suffering this morning. It was extremely ill advised to stay awake to watch the Eurovision Song Contest when I was already feeling tired and I suspect I will be feeling the consequences for a while. It was worth it, though - a show which has tutus, weird green aliens, fire, kinky boots and giant hamster wheels really has to be watched live, and I have to say that sharing the experience on Twitter with many of my friends certainly enhanced my enjoyment of it.

I don't get the attraction of the Norwegian song which won a record breaking victory - I preferred the tacky, cheesy Finnish entry and the gimmicky Greek one. I also thought the Albanian offering, which had a green alien thingy stalking the tutu wearing young singer could have come straight out of an episode of Torchwood. I was waiting for Captain Jack to burst in and flirt with both of them.

Our Jade Ewen had no such gimmicks. She had to make do with Andrew Lloyd Webber accompanying her on the piano. She was clearly nervous, but she looked amazing and sang the song very well. We could not have asked more of her.

There was still evidence of the "block voting" that has tarnished the competition so much that it drove Terry Wogan from his commentary booth, but it didn't seem to be as pernicious as in the past.

Graham Norton was absolutely fantastic in Terry's place, though. "I don't want to poison your minds, but that was pants" he said to the cheesy German entry sung by a chap in skin tight silver trousers, accompanied by Dita Von Teese in the tightest corset you ever saw. Clearly she doesn't have internal organs......

I am still completely off the booze - I have to say I haven't had so long without a drink since I was pregnant so my "hangover" comes purely from tiredness. Heaven help those poor souls who picked Norway in the drinking games, though. I bet they feel really rough today.

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Would this be Scotland's Eurovision entry if we had one?

Long live the union:-)

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