So glad England aren't going to host the 2018 World Cup

I really don't like football. I make an exception where Inverness Caledonian Thistle are concerned, but other than that, every time a World Cup come round I check to see if there's another planet I can disappear to for the month.

My dislike of the sport is probably fuelled by a resentment at the disproportionate amount of money, tv time and resources it gets. There are plenty other sports, not that you'd know it from the way football dominates the sports media.

The thought of the biggest tournament on the planet taking place on British soil and the hyperbolic coverage that would attract, which would make the Royal Wedding look as small as a village charity coffee morning in comparison, made me feel quite sick. I'm sure the bid was very good and everything but I am so glad that it'll be at least another 20 years before it will take place on British soil.

Having said that, I would much rather the event was taking place in England as opposed to either Qatar or Russia on human rights grounds.

You might be interested to know that  FIFA awarded the next two world cups to countries which voted in favour of an amendment taking out the specific reference to sexuality in a motion condemning the arbitrary use of the death penalty, as reported here on the New Humanist Blog. Even Israel voted against that, for goodness' sake. Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar, punishable by 5 years' imprisonment.

It always makes me feel angry when countries who have scant regard for human rights gain such major international accolades.

Vamos España - I finally wake up to the World Cup!

I love Spain. I particularly love Mallorca where I've spent 13 holidays in the last 20 years. It's a beautiful, friendly island with gorgeous beaches, stunning mountain scenery. Even after all this time we find out something new we like about it every single time we go there. We also have a growing list of things we have to sample every time - horchata de almendra, the liquid marzipan milkshake traditional to Valldemossa, the delicious home made ice cream in Soller - the orange flavour is a thing of pure heaven, the rich hot chocolate you can almost stand a spoon up in,

We were there during the last World Cup and the atmosphere when Spain were playing was absolutely brilliant. They are incredibly passionate about their football. I'm gutted we aren't there this year to share the final with them but I shall be thinking of the many Spanish friends we've made over the years on Sunday night and hope that their team comes through for them and takes the trophy home.

Just out of interest, I had no idea how to put the tilde above the in in España in Blogger so I looked up Google. You go to the Windows Start menu (if like me you aren't lucky enough to have a Mac), choose run and then enter charmap. This gives you a list of characters to choose from with all sorts of accents, umlauts and the like. You just copy and paste the one you want. You probably knew that anyway, but if you didn't, I hope that was helpful.

World Cup: Spoilt England players need to get a grip

I know I'm stepping into dangerous territory trying to write about football, but my excuse is that this is more about people than the actual game. I'm watching in horror as I see John Terry, a man sacked as England captain several months ago, talk to the press about how the England players are having a clear the air meeting with manager Fabio Capello.

His assertion that the squad was behind the manager was qualified by a comment that:

"Everyone needs to get off their chest exactly how they're feeling. If it upsets him [Capello], or it upsets any player, then so be it,"

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That's all a bit "I'm not sexist/racist/unkind but...." to me.

What right does Terry have to suddenly become the spokesperson of the squad anyway?

When I see England players like Wayne Rooney and John Terry either criticising the fans or whinging about how bored they are, it makes me think that they deserve their backsides to be skelped from here to kingdom come. I'm not usually an advocate of violence of any sort, but this might be the exception that proves my rule.

I mean, come on, do they really expect us to have sympathy with this?

"I'm not going to lie. We are in the hotel, we finish training, we have lunch at one o'clock and then we have got a few hours to spare.

"There are things like mini darts tournaments, snooker and pool. There is a bit of boredom that kicks in. There are six or seven hours until we meet up for dinner and there are times as a group of players we need to get together – and none more so than now."

I can suggest a few things that these over-pampered, over-privileged self important multi millionaires could do to pass the time of day.

* They could get out and volunteer for the day in one of the programmes to help the people in South Africa who live in terrible poverty. Maybe seeing that people don't have the basics we take for granted might give them a sense of perspective.

* They could do old fashioned stuff like mug up on their opponents and work out how best to beat them.

* They could get off their arses and go and meet some of the fans that have spent thousands to travel to South Africa to support them, and who have had a pretty dismal return for their money so far.

* They could find something or someone from the reams of footballing history to inspire them.

When I've seen the England team play on the field, they just look like they can't be bothered. There is no hunger and no passion. For heavens' sake, this is the World Cup, the pinnacle of the sport. They should feel honoured to be there, representing their country. Is that not enough of a buzz for them?

If this lot get knocked out on Wednesday, as, on current form, they frankly deserve, David Cameron shouldn't be welcoming them into Number 10. There should be no open top bus tours. They do not deserve to be feted in any way. In fact, David Cameron should actually say that. People like John Terry and Wayne Rooney should not be called up to play for England again until they can learn a bit of humility.

The middle of the tournament is not a good time or place for the players to be having a complete meltdown. If they have a problem with what's going on behind closed doors, they should keep their heads in the game, do the job they're being paid to do and stop whinging.

I have to say that if Fabio Capello is throwing things round the dressing room in despair at his players' nonchalance, I can sympathise with how he's feeling. I think I might do the same.

And the French are just as bad. Imagine refusing to train during the biggest tournament cos your mate has been sent home in disgrace for cheeking the manager in public.

Some people just don't know they're born.

These pampered players are a shocking role model for the young players of tomorrow and they should just get a grip and get on with playing the World class football they are more than capable of.

Londoners pay for Boris Johnson to go to World Cup

I almost choked on my Corn Flakes this morning when I saw Boris Johnson being interviewed on BBC Breakfast, not from City Hall, but from the World Cup in Cape Town.

Who, exactly, I thought, was paying for this?

It appears that Londoners are funding this trip to the sunshine out of their Council Tax, so that Boris can go and promote England's bid to host the 2018 World Cup.

It seems that some Londoners I discussed this with on Twitter are happy to see this money being spent purely to get him out of the country, but if he's still appearing on our tv screens, how does that work?

I guess he looks better with a vuvuzela than he did waving the Olympic flag in Beiing, but I do wonder why there is a need for the Mayor of London to represent the English bid. And should we really be committing to another major World sporting event so soon after the Olympics?

I had a look at the bid site and I'm not convinced we should be doing it. Football already has enough investment in this country and we certainly don't need to host the World Cup to inspire the next generation of players.

I can see the point in the Olympics in regenerating that part of East London and in investment in sport in the future, but I'm not sure whether it's worth the cost to hold the World Cup at a time when we really need to only spend money on what's absolutely necessary. What do you think?

Why I feel sorry for Rob Green - and why England needs Candy Piercy!

As I predicted on Saturday, I did indeed end up watching the England game on Saturday night. In a way, I'm kind of glad, because it means that I can comment on the villification in the press of England goalie Robert Green with just a little bit of knowledge. I know that can be a dangerous thing, but I'm going to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Now, it came as something of a shock to me that some guy called Green was the goalie, seeing as Twitter had told me on Friday that the England goalie was one David "Crazy Hair" James. Now, on doing a bit more searching, I find out that there's yet another one, called Joe Hart.

So, we turned on the match and within minutes, that moment now being replayed round the world, when the Americans scored happened. Rob Green got to the ball, but he couldn't stop it going in. Yes, for a professional goalie, that was a mistake, but the villification he's getting in the British press for it is way, way over the top.

You would think, from the coverage he's getting that he was the love child of the Grim Reaper and the Big Bad Wolf. I saw on Andrew Marr yesterday that the News of the Screws had 7 pages devoted to slating him and today another tabloid has been digging into his personal life.

For heavens' sake! I may not know much about football, but I know that the team has 11 player, not just one. What got me about the England game is that bar a couple of exceptions (Gerrard and Heskey), the rest of them just seemed to stand around casually passing the ball to each other. There didn't seem to be a whole load of passion for what they were doing. It's not like the US had scored in the dying momnets - they had about 2/3 of the match to try and score again and to my mind they just didn't seem to be putting a whole load of effort into it.

I wasn't alone in that assesssment - as a few of my friends on Twitter who do know about football agreed with me. In fact, at one point, Spiderplant and I decided that we could happily go out there and motivate the England team. However, having thought about it, we should go as glamorous assistants to one of the best Lib Dem trainers and motivators of all time - Candy Piercy. Let's give her half an hour with the England team. That would get them back on form!

Anyway, I suspect my football commentating career will be rather short lived. England next play on Friday but I am out with the girls so, unfortunately, will not be able to watch it.

Is there a football match on, or something?

Well, as Helen Duffett reminded me on Twitter yesterday, I'm in no position to complain about people tweeting at the World Cup, after what I put my loyal and wonderful followers through during the General Election with my constant stream of things I agreed with Nick about, or things I thought were his fault.

Also, so many of my friends who do like football are going to get some rest and relaxation watching the football, which they really deserve after knocking their pans in over the last year, that I can't really begrudge them.

I suspect I will have to watch the England game tonight. Stephen is coming for dinner and although I suspect I'll be distractable with the F1 quali and Doctor Who, he'll want to watch the footie afterwards.

Yesterday we had to suffer preachy tweets from a few Scottish Labour MPs like Tom Harris and Jim Murphy urging us all to get behind England. I suspect their motivation may well have been more about having a go at the SNP than the actual football. See this from Murphy's site:

Scotland is more confident. The nationalism that defines Scotland for what its not is in retreat. Last months(his missing apostrophe, not mine)general election result proved that once and for all.

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Yawn!

I'm afraid I can't go much further than I don't wish them any harm. Not for some great ideological hatred of the English, but more that I really just don't care. It's football that doesn't involve Inverness Caley Thistle. Why would it interest me?

Having said that, I felt a bit shamefaced yesterday because I set myself the challenge of naming as many England players as I could - and I only got to five.They were the vile Ashley Cole, John Terry, Frank Lampard (who I'd heard of more because of their antics off the field), Joe Cole and Stephen Gerrard. I should latterly add that I should have added Wayne Rooney to that list and also Rio Ferdinand and Theo Walcott, but I thought they didn't count I felt a bit mortified that I hadn't a clue who their goalie was - and he's important. Apparently, thanks to Twitter, I now know his name is David "Crazy Hair" James. Last England goalie I'd heard of was David Seaman.

I'm quite upset that the horrendous environmental disaster that is the oil spill in the Gulf has been trivialised by the press into a slanging match between Britain and the USA, just in time for the football match between them. This is too important to be treated in that way. And, to be honest, I'd rather see all those involved putting their energy into solving the problem rather than feeding the Media Beast.

As I expected, last night turned into a football fest on Twitter (although there were some parts of my feed where the much more important issues as, er, botox, and being ginger were being discussed. I did at one point turn over to France v Uruguay just to see what everyone was talking about. I barely lasted 30 seconds before I had to seek refuge in a comforting episode of Neighbours.

So, I bear England no ill will even if I can't muster up enthusiasm for their games. I guess my thoughts will be mostly with the women who have real reason to fear the World Cup

Will saltire fly from No 10 if Andy Murray makes Wimbledon Final?

Much as I'm pleased to see some of the stuffy protocols regarding flags on government buildings relaxed, I will go through at least 29 different kinds of fury if Andy Murray doesn't get the same treatment as the England team should he, or any other British player, make the Wimbledon Final, or in fact even the latter stages of the tournament.

Now that they've set the precedent, it had better happen for all world class sporting achievers these islands produce.

Why some women have real reason to fear the World Cup

I have been approaching the forthcoming month long football fest that is the World Cup with an air of resignation. If it's not about Inverness Caley Thistle, then, frankly, my dear, I really don't give a damn and it annoys me that every four years this one sport dominates our national lives in the way that it does. It winds me up, and nobody in our house even likes the sport that much. It must be a nightmare to live with a fan who will hog the tv at all hours to watch the most insignificant matches. I really have nothing to complain about, though.

It made me sad, and furious, in equal measure to see a discussion on BBC Breakfast this morning saying that domestic violence increases by as much as 30%, or at least that's just the incidents that get as far as the Police, during this particular sports event. Apparently the peak last time round was on the day that England was knocked out.

What is it about wall to wall football that incites 70 extra men a week in Leeds to beat up their partners? That is only one city - what's it going to be like across the UK. That will an extra 70 extra women and all of their children who will be spending the World Cup living in fear. Alcohol has to be a factor - sitting around drinking beer and watching wall to wall football from morning till night troughing can after can of Stella is bound to increase the likelihood of violence. Then you see the often disgraceful on field behaviour when players, who get paid so much that anger management therapy really is within their budget, behave like two year olds having tantrums. Why is it that David Beckham kept his position as a national hero when he wasted the opportunity to represent his country by getting in a strop and kicking a member of the opposing team 12 years ago?

Add to that the really quite appalling way that many footballers treat the women in their lives - Ashley Cole, that would be you I'm talking about, just for starters, and you can see where this culture of violence comes from. The alcohol, the accepted anger on the field, the general attitude towards women all combine to make kindling that just requires a tiny spark - maybe a linesman having an off day, to cause an explosion which leads to a violent attack on a partner.

Many millions of people across the world will watch the World Cup and just enjoy the football. They won't get drunk and beat up their partners or children. However my thoughts will be for those families for whom the final whistle heralds a drunken, violent onslaught - and for those in the charities and the Police who will be working to support them. Is there not some role for the footballing world in all of this? Some England player could surely express horror and disappointment at the violence this tournament is known to cause and urge people to drink and behave responsibly? Maybe some sort of longer term campaign in the run up to future major football tournaments could be organised?

This week the Scottish Parliament will spend 2 and a half hours debating violence against men. Certainly that's an issue and statistics obtained by the Liberal Democrats showed last year that domestic violence against men was up by 167%, and that against women up by 40%. Those are truly shocking figures. I hope that part of that is due to more incidents being reported - I remember way back when I was involved helping a domestic violence charity that women would endure around 36 attacks before asking for help. While there does have to be help for men available, the vast majority of attacks are against women and children. With no direct involvement in the World Cup for us, there may not be such an increase in attacks over the next few weeks. However, it's an issue that should certainly be raised in the debate.