Are the Apprentice candidates always such a bunch of egotistical buckwits?

I'm sure we all think the same thing every year when we watch the first episode of the Apprentice, which started its new run last night on BBC1 - namely that the new group of candidates is the worst, most egotistical shower of prats we have ever seen in our lives. Then we kind of get used to them. And there's a rare few we even get to like. Or maybe not. As Keris Stainton said on Twitter last night:

"...there may be one or two I don't want dead by the end"

The Apprentice has given us many moments of comedy gold over the years. The Kosher chicken episode is probably my favourite.  Maybe we should just have a gratuitous reminder:

 

Then there was Pants Man:



Last night's episode started well with the teams (Apollo for the girls and Synergy for the boys) being sent at midnight to buy meat and produce 3 types of sausages for sale the next day.  It was quite strange to see Dan leading a team called Synergy. He should have been leading a team called "Ignorant Neanderthal Management Style". As far as I can remember, he did no work himself, just stood about barking out his orders to his hapless team mates. He's apparently a sales director, but his half of the team managed to raise a whole £14 out of a total of around £600. I have to say that if someone in a suit knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to buy some sausages, I'd wonder where they'd been, how they'd been made and whether I was going to get food poisoning if I ate them.

The pantomime villain was 21 year old Stuart Baggs. If his chat up lines are anything like his sales lines, I expect a life of celibacy awaits him. "Excuse me, Sir, you look like a sausage coinnosseur" really didn't cut it. Not only is he utterly cheesy and insincere, but he really hasn't the slightest bit of self awareness and doesn't know when to shut up. Lord Sugar nearly fired him as well, we're supposed to believe. We know that those who have their cards marked in such a way at the beginning are usually around for quite a while. He may well make the final, you never know.

As for the girls, their villain was Melissa Cohen. She turned down the chance to be project manager and then proceeded to bitch all day. She needs to learn that having a row in front of a customer really is not an impressive sight.

I really, really missed Margaret, though. I have no problem at all with Karren Brady, who is perceptive and pleasant, but nobody can raise an eyebrow quite like her predecessor.

There was another new face on the You're Fired companion show on BBC2 now that Adrian Chiles has gone off to less classy climes. Dara O'Briain is an excellent replacement, not afraid to poke fun at the evictee.

However obnoxious the candidates are, bitching about them for an hour on Wednesday night will keep us all happy until Christmas.