I'm not one for material things, normally. Our television is antediluvian, our sofas are second hand. I don't have to have every new and shiny thing that comes along - unless it connects to the internet and is called an iPad. I want one so badly it actually hurts. I know I don't need one and that the walloping dose of iPad envy I have developed is nothing in comparison with most if not all of life's problems but I don't think I have ever hankered after a gadget so much in my life.
If I hadn't bought my iPod Touch a couple of months ago, I doubt I'd want its big brother quite so badly. I don't think I've ever enjoyed browsing the internet so much as I do with Safari on it and the thought of being able to do that on something so much bigger is very appealing indeed.
I was doing ok until last night when half of Twitter seemed to be frenetically checking the delivery services to find out where their precious iPads were. I mean, when did that become fashionable. Why is it interesting to find out that your parcel is in Daventry, or Worcester, or Timbucktoo. Until it's in your arms, it might as well be on Mars.
My Twitter friends show me no mercy. Sarah posted this picture. How shiny can you get? I love the way her iPhone, signed by both Ross Brawn and Rubens Barrichello, is reflected in the picture, by the way.
Kate, who at least is languishing with me as one of the Great iPadless, is trying to work out what an iPad is worth to her. I've worked out it's 12 years' Liberal Democrat subscriptions for me. It just shows how much I love the party that I'm not trading in my membership for some nice shiny kit:-).
Kate did, though, point me in the direction of this review of the iPad which has dented my enthusiasm not one tiny bit. I know the guy has been given one to play with, but his passion for it is very clear and genuine.
My husband, much to my surprise, didn't say no when I told him how much I wanted one. He even made the point that if I had one, I could just give the iPod Touch to Anna instead of buying her her own one which brings the cost to us down. You have no idea how unlike him it is to make that sort of observation.
James Graham injects a note of caution and cynicism to the iPad fuss, but I suspect that secretly he's infected with the same affliction as me.
Unless I take myself to some remote location without internet, there's going to be no escaping the collective cooing of new iPad owners. Tonight I'm going to try and get away from it for a short time - am off to a pamper evening to raise funds for school. I like the idea that having a massage is actually helping my daughter's education.