I really can't abide anything that slithers along the ground on its belly and snakes really scare me. When Willie Rennie ended up with one round his neck during the election campaign I couldn't even look at the pictures. The thought that a 6 foot boa constrictor is on the loose 18 miles from my house does not make me happy.
The BBC is kind of missing the point about it not being venomous when actually it squeezes you to death. Well, it would probably have a bit of a hard job with me but that's beside the point.
Do you know, I even looked up on Google to see how fast they could travel and, in 18 hours' time, it could be in my back garden. If you see it heading down the A801, please don't tell it that our house is near woods where there are lovely juicy bats for it to pick from the trees, as I read that they are quite partial to this particular delicacy.
The BBC has some handy advice if I do happen to find it in my back garden:
Anyone who sees the boa constrictor has been advised to leave it to experts and contact police or the Scottish SPCA.
Like I was going to invite it in for tea...........